1 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:39,714 ...to remember a friend which is no longer there. 2 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:44,039 A model employee obedient, modest... 3 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:47,995 ...faithful, humble, resigned... 4 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:52,034 ...colorless' servile. 5 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:56,473 Voted for slavery to sacrifice. 6 00:00:56,680 --> 00:01:01,754 An authentically mediocre being. 7 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,952 Perhaps the best of all of us. 8 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:10,239 It survived for 40 years... 9 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:14,911 ...to the difficult role vice last wheel of the wagon... 10 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:18,994 ...in the Flattery office. 11 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:25,596 I remember the day when we retired together... 12 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:31,034 - Quick, it's late. After I have a wedding. - Hurry up! 13 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:34,990 - Conclude. - Yes. 14 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:40,992 We will never forget you dear... 15 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:44,469 Dear... Dear? 16 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:50,671 -Actually I... -Are you asking me? - What was his name? - I do not know. 17 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:56,389 - Someone look at the name on the cash register. -Do you want... 18 00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:59,519 -VADl. - His name was... 19 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:09,876 - Fonelli! - We won't forget you dear Fonelli! 20 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:14,193 - Shall we bury this too? - I'm not ready yet. 21 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:19,554 Then get up and help us. Let's take the coffin away. 22 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:22,591 Hurry. 23 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:27,311 Ready to go. 24 00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:36,711 The handles are for beauty! Carry it on your shoulder. 25 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:41,312 FUNERAL MARCH 26 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,792 WEDDING MARCH 27 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:59,595 - Best wishes, miss. - Condolences. 28 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:05,116 - Condolences. - Best wishes to the bride. 29 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:08,312 - Deepest condolences. -Congratulations ! 30 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:11,239 Permit. Congratulations. 31 00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:20,634 - Another one of us who's gone. -How old was he? 32 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:24,714 - Our age. We are peers. - You are the same age! 33 00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:31,519 - Among us there is a generation. - Silvani is a retired baby. 34 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:37,352 - Don't exaggerate! - The peer had cholesterol and high blood pressure? 35 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:42,117 Fantozzi asked the widow. 36 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:45,756 - Why me? - You are the most at risk. 37 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:49,430 -VADl. It affects everyone. - Is he more at risk? 38 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,671 -VADl. - One moment. 39 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:05,160 Ma'am, I'm heartbroken. To remember it better... 40 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:08,910 - How much blood pressure did you have? - More than 2OO. 41 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:11,117 More than 2OO! 42 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:13,749 Hurray! I have 160! 43 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:17,555 Excuse me. How much cholesterol was it? 44 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:19,910 Over 600. 45 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:25,115 - Over 600! -So she wanted it. 46 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:31,237 Condolences. Ah! Ah! 47 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:33,590 Convey... Ah! Ah! 48 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:39,431 - Guys, see you! - Where can I see her? 49 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:44,191 At the next funeral. Who knows whose turn it is! 50 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:52,191 It's not up to me! I have a nice program. 51 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:57,349 Healthy 35 kilometer ride and invigorating hydromassage. 52 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:03,193 For lunch a juice of celery and carrots. 53 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:08,512 -It's not up to me! - She dropped her... 54 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:11,149 To the Bersaglieri! 55 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:13,118 > Ahh! 56 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:15,911 VIOLENT IMPACT 57 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,313 Olė! 58 00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:02,238 - But wasn't it supposed to be her? - Why ? 59 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:07,600 I had even written two words suitable for her. 60 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:11,673 I read them at home. 61 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:16,198 - I'll save them for when... - No! Thank you. 62 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:18,431 As you wish. 63 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,271 There's no one left. 64 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,071 Ouch! 65 00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:02,636 They don't even respect death! 66 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,918 None of them do shit! 67 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:12,270 They get up at noon and have lunch they take a nap at their mother's... 68 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:17,720 ...and they "fuck" those girls with those nipples! 69 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:21,794 Then they "dump" them at the bar like hunting trophies. 70 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:26,312 Instead we are condemned to emptiness of our gray lives... 71 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:28,511 ...without nipples and without trophies. 72 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:32,236 How do they buy the Porsche without working? 73 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:35,791 - Are you kidding me? - No. 74 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:39,880 - STRUPPRl drug... - What? - STRIPPl. 75 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:45,158 Robberies. I do for these people RESET... 76 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:48,629 REPRITNISTR... 77 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:54,313 - I would bring back the death penalty. - Right. Even torture. 78 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:57,751 Even torture for robberies. Ohh! 79 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:05,358 Accountant' wouldn't you do a robbery? 80 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,709 "Don't move!" 81 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:15,639 You watch and learn. 82 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:20,960 - I can't say these things. - I'll tell you. 83 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:25,671 Don't move or my friend It will blow your brains out. 84 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:29,635 - Should I blow them up? - It's child's play. 85 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:33,874 - Which of the two are they? - The one with the red hood. 86 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:38,638 Please, I want to be white. White brings me luck. 87 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:42,117 - DO the white. -All right. Ohh! 88 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:49,871 - Enough ! Riddles him! - She chose him. 89 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:54,591 "- You will spend the rest of your life in jail!" - What if they catch us? 90 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:58,316 Rest assured. I calculated everything. 91 00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:01,994 < Phase one: camouflage. 92 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:05,716 < They brought their granddaughter Uga < as a cover. 93 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:09,550 Handsome ! Here's a salesman. Good morning. 94 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:13,390 To entertain my niece... 95 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:17,594 ...we want to buy of carnival masks. 96 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:22,317 - One for him and one for me. - That way. -Wait for me here. 97 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:28,311 Fantozzi' over there. They have some amazing stuff. 98 00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:34,469 Here are the masks. Do you like them? 99 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:39,995 - You're not convinced? - They don't scare anyone. 100 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:42,874 - No? - But when ever! 101 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:46,630 - You can't be scared... Ahh! - Grampa. 102 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:48,831 Fantozzi, what is he doing? 103 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:54,319 Can't he see that it's his monkey... The baboon... 104 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:59,993 - She's my niece. - Yes but she's dressed with this monkey skin... 105 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:04,194 - No, it's "cotton". - Cotton? 106 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:09,434 Now to protect myself I cover it... 107 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:13,679 I mean that I put this mask on her. 108 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,554 - He's better that way. - Yes. 109 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:21,596 - It's less insidious. - These masks are too flashy. 110 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:24,792 There are others over there. VENGHl. 111 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:31,119 These are more practical. Look. 112 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:35,670 - You can breathe better. - What's the point of this? 113 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:42,111 - Are you ready to take action? - Yes. 114 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,914 Here are the weapons. CHOOSE 115 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:51,600 < Filini had obtained a gun < from track and field starter. 116 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:56,920 < Fantozzi a rocket launcher coming < from the disarmament of the motor ship Duilio. 117 00:10:57,120 --> 00:11:02,149 It feels "better" to have something to do. 118 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:05,352 - I have a desire to... - Get her pregnant. 119 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:10,714 - Get her pregnant. - Who? - Put the weapon in the belt. 120 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,677 - Which bank are we robbing? - Trust me. 121 00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:19,272 - I wouldn't want to rob that one where I have my money. - Rest assured. 122 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:24,429 - I've already studied everything. - Where ? 123 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:26,871 It's a surprise. 124 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:37,071 Here's the surprise! 125 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:40,556 The megacompany! 126 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:48,160 - Let's rob the house bank. - I've lost my saliva. 127 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:54,394 We have worked here for 40 years. We know it like the back of our hands. 128 00:11:54,600 --> 00:12:00,278 We will rob those who sucked us blood for 40 years! 129 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:05,111 - Do you agree? -I would like to retire. 130 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:09,553 - Why ? - I have a slight urge to vomit. 131 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:13,549 It's not possible! Today is salary day. 132 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:18,596 It's full of money. At the entrance! To the two of us! 133 00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:23,878 - There is a parking ban. They do it the fine. - Don't be cheap. 134 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:28,597 Soon we will be rich and are you worried about the fine? No! 135 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:33,399 You who GUIDl leave the counter open. Makes escape easier. 136 00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:37,149 I left... 137 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:43,278 Accountant' now the canteen van arrives. 138 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:46,393 Yes. But... Shall we rob that too? 139 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:52,039 No, that's what you need to get in. Here we are... 140 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:09,798 This is not the time to do somersaults. We're doing a robbery! 141 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:16,640 I'm excited. 142 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:20,913 It doesn't have a strange effect on her come back here? 143 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:26,236 We've spent our whole lives there. Look! 144 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:29,114 - What is it? - "Lost Employees Office." 145 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:31,755 Fantozzi' MOVES. 146 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:39,317 - I came here to have coffee from her. - "Claims office." 147 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:44,435 - It's impressive. - STOP with these romances. 148 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:50,192 - We have to do the robbery. - LET me take a look. 149 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:53,392 -Still ! -Have mercy. -All right. 150 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:55,678 VENGHl. 151 00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:58,953 There he is. 152 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,111 > There are sales. 153 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:06,275 - In other liquidations they cost less. - They are not the same brand. 154 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:21,876 Accountant, everything is like it used to be. 155 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:33,756 -VENGHl. Eye ! - Eye. 156 00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:38,471 Press yourself against the wall. 157 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:43,590 - What is he doing? - I crushed myself. 158 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:46,912 - Now let's get to the action. - I... 159 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:51,751 Now we're disguising ourselves weapons and let's break in together. 160 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,839 No. Look what's written there. 161 00:14:56,920 --> 00:15:00,390 - So I say hello... -Come here! 162 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:04,355 Let's apply plan B. Let's do B. Let's do B. 163 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:07,552 - I'm a B. - What is that? - ll B. 164 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:09,831 But what does he do! 165 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:14,910 According to plan B she moves forward and I wait here. Is the gun loaded? 166 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:17,919 - I have the rocket in the barrel. - it breaks. 167 00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:22,000 - I'll break in. - it breaks. - I sound like a "Swabian cat". 168 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:25,431 Button. 169 00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:31,031 - I'll break in. - it breaks. 170 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,998 (recording) "Good morning." - Who is ? 171 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:42,637 (recording) “You have items metal on you." - no! 172 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:47,550 (recording) “You have items metal on you." - Yes... No! 173 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:51,958 (recording) "Don't be smart! You have metal objects on you." 174 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:55,710 - "We won't let you in." - I have nothing. 175 00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:01,678 Help ! 176 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:14,514 To avoid attracting attention I put my nose. 177 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:20,991 Hands up! This is a robbery. 178 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:25,638 Lie down on the ground otherwise he will blow your brains out! 179 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,872 Fantozzi, she doesn't. It must blow your mind. 180 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:34,999 Stay calm. I don't want bloodshed. 181 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,476 - No. -You lie down on the ground. 182 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:39,916 You put your money on the table... 183 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:44,876 ...otherwise he'll make you jump the brain. - But sorry! 184 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:48,835 - I say this! - Are you giving the order? 185 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:53,313 Then hurry up! She lies down he sleeps on the floor. Continue the robbery. 186 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:59,118 - The nose. So... How do I continue? - Continue the robbery Fantozzi! 187 00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:05,111 - He doesn't have bags to put in the money? - Don't you have a bag? 188 00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:09,393 - Director, excuse us. He doesn't have it. - I'll take care of it. - He'll take care of it. 189 00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:12,955 It's child's play! 190 00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:20,074 This is the other one. Now they lock us in the vault. 191 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,311 So everyone in the vault! 192 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:25,313 Come on, hurry up! 193 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:33,636 -VENGHl' Fantozzi. -Let's all go in the vault. - In the vault. 194 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,069 > Not her! 195 00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:41,797 - Where is Fantozzi? - In the vault. - Not her! - Close. 196 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,511 Open! 197 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:48,600 - The hand! - It's nothing. 198 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:52,316 - It's nothing. - It's the same hand. Let's go. 199 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:14,950 (in English) Excuse me' I would like some information. 200 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:18,710 I have to take the ring road. 201 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:27,959 - Accountant, let's go. - Yes. 202 00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:30,760 - Go! - Yes. 203 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,991 I left! 204 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:43,920 - Where ? Let's take that car. - But I'll drive. 205 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:47,477 You are almost blind. I mean he's blind. 206 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:52,113 Here we are. Ready? Go! 207 00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:56,352 They took the steering wheel away. 208 00:18:56,560 --> 00:19:00,997 - We are lucky! There's another one. I'll drive. - No! 209 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:05,036 (in English) Go slowly. 210 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:08,432 - Be careful. - Don't DISTRACT me. 211 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:13,157 - It's dangerous in this fog. - What fog? 212 00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:21,158 (in English) My face! 213 00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:26,035 - They're coming at us! - Who? 214 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:29,272 -Do you want to cause an accident? - No! 215 00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:33,111 Ahh! 216 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,231 Leave the wheel! 217 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:44,710 There's a gentleman on the hood. 218 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:51,710 - Brakes. - Don't talk nonsense. We're on the run. 219 00:19:57,840 --> 00:19:59,877 - Did you see? - What ? 220 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,833 Then I'll explain... 221 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,071 We continue the escape. 222 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:11,912 Everything went well. 223 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:16,869 - Parking was legendary. - You don't think about these things. 224 00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:19,111 Let's get rid of the guns. 225 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:26,793 - Accountant! -Ahh! - We'll be home in ten minutes... 226 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,992 ...to share the loot. 227 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:34,199 The swag! Ouch! This is better... 228 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,391 HORN 229 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:15,391 - You're welcome. > Filini! AMAZING! 230 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:19,312 > Dear inferiors, come up. 231 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,838 < He was the galactic megadirector < in person... 232 00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:33,316 < ..Duke Count Mariarita Vittorio < Barambani. 233 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:36,114 FANTOZZl SMUTTERS 234 00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:39,836 - Good morning dear inferiors. (together) Good morning. 235 00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:44,876 You robbed the company that has you lovingly exploited for years. 236 00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:49,114 Yes, because we were thinking of returning in part. 237 00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:52,438 -How did you discover us? -We had fake noses! 238 00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:57,390 You thought you had done the job without our help? 239 00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:00,632 - No! - He helped us. 240 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:05,639 Excuse me, Sire. Why did he do it? 241 00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:10,829 To make you experience a beautiful emotion. But that's enough now. 242 00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:14,552 Place the loot on the table. 243 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,752 So she returns it to the bank... 244 00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:21,436 No. The culprits must remain unknown. 245 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:25,913 Thus the company will be compensated from the insurance. 246 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:29,278 Your Majesty, the malloppone? 247 00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:32,717 I'll take it for my tantrums personal. 248 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:34,871 > Everything? 249 00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:41,036 For once he couldn't "getting crazy" at 50% with the two of us? 250 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:46,189 No. I'm doing it for your good' dearest ones. 251 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:50,792 Money is a rich thing. You are not mentally equipped. 252 00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:55,159 You would be fooled by some scammer. 253 00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:58,233 You'd end up with some little girl. 254 00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:01,555 These her... 255 00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:04,991 It was a curiosity. 256 00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:08,349 Your life would be turned upside down. 257 00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:11,791 Thank me for the favor what do I do to you. 258 00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,998 Philip the lower ones are about to descend. 259 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:47,472 Unghia' come and say hello to dad. 260 00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:53,877 Bongo, I'm sorry that you can't come to the party. 261 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:58,074 But I understand. The gorilla profession has no timetable. 262 00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:02,590 You don't say gorilla' but "bodyguard". 263 00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:06,111 Sorry Mariangela. You are right. 264 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:10,438 - HI. - HI. 265 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:12,671 - HI. - HI. 266 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:16,191 Here's dad! 267 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,071 Hi dad. 268 00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:40,880 Let's turn off the lights. Dad will be happy of this beautiful surprise. 269 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,198 You come. 270 00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:49,192 What happens ? Has the light gone out? 271 00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:55,478 Holy shit! Precisely on Cup Wednesday! 272 00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:59,759 - Where is the remote control? - One two three. 273 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:03,595 (together) Surprise! - What is this stuff? 274 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:05,877 Today is Cup Wednesday! 275 00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:09,635 Absolute silence for 90 minutes! 276 00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:13,874 Women in the kitchen! Spaghetti with garlic, oil and chilli pepper. 277 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:19,598 - Ice-cold beer and free burp! - There's the tortellini timbale. 278 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:24,954 -All right. - It's the anniversary of our wedding. 279 00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:29,916 Precisely today that there is the legendary Cup Wednesday? 280 00:25:30,120 --> 00:25:32,634 The only joy of my life. 281 00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:35,759 It's been 40 years' Ugo. 282 00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:40,238 But... 283 00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:42,790 40 years? 284 00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:47,274 The 40 year wedding is it a golden wedding? 285 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:49,790 It's a shitty wedding. 286 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:54,437 Mariangela returns home. I don't want to celebrate that wedding there. 287 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:56,358 Pina! 288 00:25:56,600 --> 00:26:01,674 Pina' you've become touchy. 289 00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:06,033 It was just a joke. 290 00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:09,438 Let's celebrate. 291 00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:13,512 - The match? - It's fantastic! 292 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:16,280 I give up... 293 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:20,078 - Thanks Ugo. - I give up on audio. 294 00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:32,752 Ugo, shall we blow out the candles? 295 00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:44,918 Now ? 296 00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:51,116 Goal! 297 00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:55,951 Whoever doesn't jump is a Rossoneri! 298 00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,760 - Who doesn't jump... - Now. 299 00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:03,272 Dad Uga dedicated a poem to you. (softly) Go. 300 00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:09,835 - Whoever doesn't jump is a Rossoneri! - Can I say the poem' grandfather? 301 00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:13,271 Say the poem there! Who doesn't jump... 302 00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:18,799 "My grandma' my grandma. Let's celebrate a happy event..." 303 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:23,198 "..Here in your apartment a little big for two your age." 304 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:28,958 "If we were hosted here you would be more take care of yourself. But it must be done soon." 305 00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:33,358 "We have eviction! What It's wonderful to have a whole family!" 306 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:36,877 "This is what they propose Uga' mama' grandma and Bongo." 307 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:40,072 Pass it! 308 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:56,152 - Have you heard Ugo? - Certain ! 309 00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:01,353 - Are you okay with this? - Very good. Now go away. 310 00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:05,599 -So they come to stay here? - Yes. Go away. 311 00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:09,794 - Thanks grandpa. - What are you doing ? Whoever doesn't jump is a Rossoneri! 312 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:14,312 < Left alone' Fantozzi left < go to the wildest cheering. 313 00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:19,272 < At the third goal he made the "ola" < alone. 314 00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:30,874 < Then it became stained with episodes < of domestic hooliganism. 315 00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:40,993 < Finally 00:28:48,990 "Uga' mama' grandma and Bongo." Bongo! 317 00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:55,518 - Who comes to live here? - Our daughter with her family. 318 00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:59,190 - They have eviction. - And they come to live here? 319 00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:04,276 -Do you want to send them under a bridge? - Yes, even under a bridge! 320 00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:10,032 - We must try to save a wedding. - What does it mean ? 321 00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:14,998 Bongo has too many thoughts and Mariangela he no longer has a sex life. 322 00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:22,998 Mariangela also has a sexual life? 323 00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:26,349 Of course if Ughina was born! 324 00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:32,238 Perte is always a little girl but she is a woman like any other. 325 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:36,000 One day he confessed to me... 326 00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:40,749 ...that for six months Bongo doesn't touch her anymore. 327 00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:45,318 Bullshit! Those animals over there... 328 00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:48,755 I meant... 329 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:53,989 Our son-in-law is in heat every six months. 330 00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:58,956 I know because I saw the show by Doctor Angela... 331 00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:02,596 ..."the gorilla in the fog." - Ugo you already said yes. 332 00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:09,109 You made me say yes because it was Cup Wednesday. 333 00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:13,672 On Wednesday in the Cup I don't think. 334 00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:19,117 - Cup Wednesday. -Now calm down and think. 335 00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:24,713 We are no longer young. If something happens to us... 336 00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:30,757 ...they will assist us. It's the most beautiful gift they could give us. 337 00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:34,237 -Come and live here? - Certain. 338 00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:39,993 They won't bother us. 339 00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:43,750 We set them up in the living room so we won't hear them. 340 00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:52,751 > Again! Yes ! 341 00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:55,554 SCREAMING WITH PLEASURE 342 00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:57,751 Ahh! Pina! 343 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:03,358 - There's an earthquake! - Shh! Don't wake the little girl. 344 00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:08,432 What is this object? Yes, it's the granddaughter! 345 00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:12,275 - I'll cover her for the cold. - No. 346 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:18,158 Okay. Why do we have to keep her here? 347 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:23,150 He couldn't stay there. Can't you hear? SCREAMING WITH PLEASURE 348 00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:28,232 INDISTINCT NOISE 349 00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:35,718 - Pina' those mate! - Do they mate? 350 00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:38,196 They make love' Ugo. 351 00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:41,871 Love? I SCREAM 352 00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:44,230 It's a bit of love... 353 00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:49,957 We saved their marriage. Bongo is no longer in crisis. 354 00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:56,800 But I will be in crisis with the neighbors. 355 00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:00,914 Neighbors are not animals. Barrites... 356 00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:05,472 FRACASS 357 00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:07,756 They fell. 358 00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:11,991 They are sacrificed in that bed. 359 00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:20,156 - Do we give up our room? -To whom? -To the boys. 360 00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:27,594 Now this Latvian we no longer need it. 361 00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:33,751 Pina' don't provoke me. 362 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:38,150 Don't break me. If there wasn't the babbui... 363 00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:42,195 My little granddaughter. Excuse me. 364 00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:48,320 - I'll split you open like an apple! - We don't give them our room. 365 00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:52,798 But you swear that at least twice a week... 366 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:56,709 ...you will do your marital duty. - Two? 367 00:32:56,920 --> 00:33:00,470 Agree. 368 00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:14,755 All right, let's give him the room. 369 00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:29,591 Grampa ! 370 00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:33,159 - Eh! -Accompany me to pee. 371 00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:36,751 - I'm scared alone. -I'm scared too. 372 00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:42,672 Let's go. You haven't been out in a long time. Give me your paw. 373 00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:44,678 The little hand. 374 00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:53,311 You come. The leash is not needed at night. 375 00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:55,511 Don't bark. 376 00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:58,551 UGA KNOCKS ON THE DOOR 377 00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:01,639 > Grandma! 378 00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:04,514 BELL > Grandma! 379 00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:08,236 Here I am ! What happened? 380 00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,909 Grandpa locked me out. 381 00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:14,556 - Poor thing! - Grandpa is bad! 382 00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:18,390 - Don't cry. - I don't want to see him again! 383 00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:23,236 Grandpa locked me out. Grandpa is bad! 384 00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:31,869 You did it because in your unconscious you don't want us in the house anymore. 385 00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:36,597 Just say it and we'll take away the trouble! 386 00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:43,715 Don't even say that as a joke! Dad is very happy to have you here. 387 00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:46,751 Very. 388 00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:59,358 - Stop! - Why ? - There's a surprise. 389 00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:02,678 - They're gone! - No, but it's new. 390 00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:05,076 - Close your eyes. - Yes. 391 00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:08,671 - Come in and close the door. - Yes. 392 00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:11,156 On the count of three open your eyes. 393 00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:15,672 One two three. 394 00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:20,636 - What is it? - It's a coat hanger. 395 00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:25,551 I put on my jacket. 396 00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:32,031 Ugo' looks at the rest. 397 00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:53,990 - What happened? - Nothing. 398 00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:58,273 It's just a decor a little special. 399 00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:02,675 It is the work of an architect Bongo's cousin. 400 00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:07,511 It has its own charm. This is the bed area. 401 00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:11,755 It's very functional. 402 00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:17,799 If we want it's a bit primitive' NAIFE. 403 00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:21,072 Reflects Bongo's roots. 404 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:26,798 Holy shit! Where are ours roots? Where is my furniture? 405 00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:30,078 Luckily he caught them a second-hand dealer. 406 00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:32,271 Even my armchair? 407 00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:37,111 My accounting diploma? 408 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:44,118 Even the bedroom? 409 00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:49,477 They explained to me that it was horrible. When they took her away... 410 00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:51,671 They took her away... 411 00:36:52,720 --> 00:36:55,712 It was old fashioned stuff. It wasn't worth anything. 412 00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:01,392 Even when we bought it in 1954... 413 00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:04,870 - Do you remember? - In 1954. 414 00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:11,630 It was really bad. We got it because they gave it to us in installments. 415 00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:16,272 Where will my bed be now? 416 00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:21,912 - I am sorry ! - Don't worry. 417 00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:25,274 But we spent a lifetime there... 418 00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:28,271 ...together. 419 00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:32,114 No Pina! 420 00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:38,396 Don't do that. Looking good you can see the paw is there... 421 00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:41,399 The hand of an architect. 422 00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:44,399 It's a somewhat unique style. 423 00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:46,876 ANIMAL SOUND Who is he? 424 00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:51,631 But the bed is light and ventilated. functional. 425 00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:55,117 Do you know what I do? I'll dive into it right away! 426 00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:02,673 -Ouch! What a pain! - Did you get hurt? 427 00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:05,679 Wait. Here you are. 428 00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:13,350 Mom, I'm going. Do you like dad? 429 00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:15,153 Yes ! 430 00:38:16,720 --> 00:38:20,759 - Very much. - Have you withdrawn your pension? 431 00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:24,271 Yes this morning while you... 432 00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:27,154 You have to pay the junk dealer. 433 00:38:30,720 --> 00:38:33,109 Do we have to pay him? 434 00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:36,790 He didn't take away for free that shit! 435 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:39,640 - Holy shit? - I had to convince him. 436 00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:44,357 You also have to pay the greengrocer for this evening's banana party. 437 00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:49,395 - Banana party? - It's a party. 438 00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:53,230 We inaugurate the house with Bongo's friends. 439 00:38:54,800 --> 00:39:00,398 - Are you happy Pina? - For a long time we weren't invited to a party. 440 00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:04,514 (from the record player) "When I see banana peel..." 441 00:39:04,720 --> 00:39:07,712 "..Immediately think of distant Africa." 442 00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:11,356 'I think of black jungle' to the tiger' to the panther." 443 00:39:11,560 --> 00:39:15,269 "I'm thinking of the little black girl from the tucul." 444 00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:17,471 "Tucul' tucul." 445 00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:20,479 "The tucul is a hut..." 446 00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:22,671 THUD 447 00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:25,872 Don't get angry' Ugo. 448 00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:29,710 Young people don't like being around with the old ones. 449 00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:34,517 - Which old people? -They wanted to be on their own. 450 00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:42,470 They invite you to my house' you dress elegantly... 451 00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:47,550 This evening you really were very passable... 452 00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:52,596 I mean "pretty". Then they throw you out like a shoe. 453 00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:57,230 - How long does a banana party last? - I do not know. 454 00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:00,432 -Even all night? - Perhaps. 455 00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:04,270 "The little black girl told Zambo..." 456 00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:07,472 ..."I don't want you without a stem." 457 00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:11,594 "I don't want to see you anymore at the door of the tucul." 458 00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:17,799 After the crappy night they had If you pass by, do you bring them croissants? 459 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:21,470 They are hot. He likes them a lot. 460 00:40:24,240 --> 00:40:27,232 Their suitcases! They're going away! 461 00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:30,949 They are ours. 462 00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:34,951 Our. 463 00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:41,912 They can also take them' that's enough let them go away with their junk! 464 00:40:46,240 --> 00:40:48,231 I'm getting my house back. 465 00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:02,670 They got distracted and they set the stake. 466 00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:06,476 "Doctor Bongo"? 467 00:41:06,720 --> 00:41:08,438 Bongo! 468 00:41:11,240 --> 00:41:13,356 KING KONG! 469 00:41:16,240 --> 00:41:18,800 KING KONG! 470 00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:21,351 Mariangela' open! 471 00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:24,679 > Who is he? - It's us! 472 00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:28,232 > Who are we? - Your father and mother. 473 00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:33,600 Darling, we brought you the croissants with cream. Open. 474 00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:38,112 > I'm sorry but I can't. Bongo has said that we can't continue like this. 475 00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:44,999 > This coexistence humiliates us and you. Someone needs to go away. 476 00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:47,589 -You. > Not you. 477 00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:51,794 > We are at the beginning of life' you are "fruity". 478 00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:55,470 - But this is our home. > It's true. Wait. 479 00:41:57,360 --> 00:41:59,670 Now it opens. 480 00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:08,872 > Here's the rent to pay. -Shame on you Mariangela! 481 00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:13,678 You can't do this to your dad! Open it up right away, do you understand? 482 00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:18,238 Don't lower yourself to their level. She she's no longer my babu... little girl. 483 00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:21,472 No, you said it right: baboon! 484 00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:26,750 - Baboon! - Don't come looking for us! 485 00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:31,670 When your mother is gone... That is, when we will no longer be here... 486 00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:34,872 ...you will only be left with remorse. 487 00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:38,912 - Pack your bags. - Certain. Here. 488 00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:45,115 Um! I "feed" them all myself! 489 00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:55,273 Who cares! We are fine like this. 490 00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:58,071 Pina' bring them. 491 00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:01,397 Dad ! Mom! 492 00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:12,116 - Yes ? - The croissants? 493 00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:15,871 The croissants. 494 00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:28,034 -How many meters are there? - One hundred walkable. - It's convenient. 495 00:43:28,240 --> 00:43:32,518 BELL TOLL Pina' a distant bell ringing! 496 00:43:32,720 --> 00:43:35,712 It's very romantic. I want to hear it. 497 00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:53,592 - What a beautiful kitchen! - It's magnificent. - Yes. 498 00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:59,515 - I'll take it. - Here's the contract. All it takes is a signature. 499 00:43:59,720 --> 00:44:01,711 - Where ? - Ugo! 500 00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:04,912 - Here. - Ugo, help! 501 00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:13,032 Excuse me, but he said "subway vicinity". 502 00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:17,274 - This is a station! - Get out of the way! 503 00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:20,950 -Wait! - Ugo! - I'm at my house! 504 00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:29,073 - Permit. - I lost interest in the deal. 505 00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:33,911 - She said she took it and now he takes it! - Leave me! 506 00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:37,151 He can't go away! 507 00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:39,991 Let's go Pina. 508 00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:44,876 < In the end Fantozzi found it < an almost human arrangement. 509 00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:24,316 - Ugo, shall we prepare the table? - Yes. I'll pull up here. 510 00:45:56,480 --> 00:45:59,472 Ugo, where did you put the shopping? 511 00:46:01,240 --> 00:46:04,437 I left it on the bed. 512 00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:15,238 - Pina' what does "danger" mean? - "Danger". 513 00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:16,953 THUD 514 00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:23,389 While accompanied to the extreme this brother of yours lives... 515 00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:26,672 ...now freed from the burden of earthly life... 516 00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:30,999 ...remember that you too must die. 517 00:46:32,280 --> 00:46:36,592 Lord' Father of mercy' I introduce myself... 518 00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:41,397 < The sad season of departures < he continued implacably. 519 00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:47,156 Brothers' death is near for everyone. 520 00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:51,593 Today it was his turn. Tomorrow it could happen to you. 521 00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:57,434 Prepare your hearts and your thoughts... 522 00:46:57,640 --> 00:46:59,790 ...refine your faith. 523 00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:03,595 - Saint John and Paul. (together) Pray for us. 524 00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:06,792 - Saint Anna. (together) Pray for us. 525 00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:09,912 - Boxing Day. (together) Pray for us. 526 00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:33,034 FANTOM, do something! It's late. I miss shiatsu! 527 00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:36,357 - What do you lose? - The massage. 528 00:47:36,680 --> 00:47:40,389 - My lady! - I'll go. Excuse me. 529 00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:44,516 - Force ! - Sorry... - Yes? 530 00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:51,077 HORN 531 00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:10,999 - Quick! Please ! - Ma'am now... 532 00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:14,556 - They're still alive! -Oh yes? Let's go. 533 00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:26,958 - Who is Don FANTOCCl? - I am Fantozzi' without "don". 534 00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:29,197 I am the priest. 535 00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:34,190 His x-rays show nothing. How patient she might go. 536 00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:37,950 As a priest it is better that he stays. 537 00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:40,714 What is it? 538 00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:43,833 -Come. - What... 539 00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:46,951 I'm fine, right? 540 00:48:48,040 --> 00:48:50,793 I've never had anything. 541 00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:57,873 Mr. FANTOCCl' this It's the x-ray of his lungs. 542 00:48:58,080 --> 00:49:03,154 - They're beautiful. - There are some relatives who I can talk to? 543 00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:07,194 But what is it? My wife is here... 544 00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:11,553 If it's something serious' It's better if he doesn't know anything. 545 00:49:13,320 --> 00:49:18,349 -Do you see this little white spot? - It's small! Then I'm healthy. 546 00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:21,552 That's the only healthy part. 547 00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:30,314 (in Latin) In the name of the Father' of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. 548 00:49:30,440 --> 00:49:32,829 I absolve you from your sins... 549 00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:36,354 Sorry. You are crazy! 550 00:49:43,720 --> 00:49:47,395 Engineer... Doctor, is it serious? 551 00:49:48,560 --> 00:49:52,076 At that time ? Is it serious? 552 00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:54,669 It's incurable. 553 00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:01,879 How much... 554 00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:07,480 How much time do I have left? 555 00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:11,351 Look at that... 556 00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:16,710 ...she underestimates me. I have ruthless courage. 557 00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:19,877 A year? 558 00:50:21,840 --> 00:50:23,274 A month? 559 00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:28,152 - One day ? - No! A week. 560 00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:40,436 Lucky man that you know the date of your death... 561 00:50:40,640 --> 00:50:45,271 ...use the time you have left to prepare you for paradise! 562 00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:48,711 Wear a sackcloth and ask for forgiveness. Repent! 563 00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:52,754 I just regret it that I didn't enjoy life. 564 00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:57,592 00:51:02,793 < He ate 4 kg of raw mussels. 566 00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:15,397 < He fined and removed a tow truck < parked in double rows. 567 00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:19,432 Stopped ! 568 00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:21,876 < It made a monstrous "stink"... 569 00:51:22,080 --> 00:51:25,436 < ..in the elevator < of a department store. 570 00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:29,838 < he daubed the walls with writing < of courageous denunciation. 571 00:51:35,280 --> 00:51:38,750 < In the end he found himself < without any more desires... 572 00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:41,952 < ..and with great anguish < in the heart. 573 00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:57,832 Ugo, what are these manners? Leave me at the hospital like this! 574 00:51:58,040 --> 00:52:01,032 Luckily they said that you're fine. 575 00:52:01,240 --> 00:52:03,914 I'm "healthy as a crow". 576 00:52:11,720 --> 00:52:15,350 Don't drink hard alcohol! They hurt you. 577 00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:20,919 There's nothing left that can hurt me. 578 00:52:24,560 --> 00:52:26,073 Nothing. 579 00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:33,835 Drink a beer, it's lighter. "He who drinks beer lives for a hundred years." 580 00:52:34,800 --> 00:52:39,237 - Pina, can I tell you something? - Tell me. - "Go shit"! 581 00:52:39,440 --> 00:52:42,512 - Ugo! - Sorry Pina. 582 00:52:42,720 --> 00:52:45,712 I had a terrible day. 583 00:52:47,960 --> 00:52:49,917 Terrible ! 584 00:53:03,160 --> 00:53:05,913 We need to buy the vitamins again. 585 00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:09,676 Buy the small jar this time. 586 00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:14,112 The small one lasts a week. 587 00:53:14,320 --> 00:53:16,675 Enough and move forward. 588 00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:20,077 Ugo, stop looking like this from a funeral! 589 00:53:24,320 --> 00:53:26,311 I'll throw myself down! 590 00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:32,956 - What happened Ugo? - What a pain! 591 00:53:33,160 --> 00:53:36,152 I wanted to get some air. 592 00:53:38,080 --> 00:53:41,118 -I'm going to lie down on the bed. - Yes Ugo. 593 00:53:41,320 --> 00:53:44,790 I'm slightly dizzy. 594 00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:55,794 - What are you doing? - I'm training. 595 00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:25,875 You had the strength not to tell me nothing. You are a wonderful man. 596 00:54:26,880 --> 00:54:29,110 I want to do something for you. 597 00:54:29,320 --> 00:54:32,392 -Go! - As ! 598 00:54:32,600 --> 00:54:36,992 - Force ! - He won! 599 00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:44,159 (in Roman dialect) They can kill you! 600 00:54:44,360 --> 00:54:49,719 - Who has to die this time? - Ugo' my husband. - Condolences. 601 00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:53,754 - Thank you. - But what do I have to do with it? - Do a good work. 602 00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:58,670 - Cheer up your last 7 days. - I tell him jokes! 603 00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:03,795 No. You take him to a nice place for a romantic holiday. 604 00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:09,234 - Yes, I'm doing "Weekend with the Dead"! You go. - It's not the same thing. 605 00:55:09,440 --> 00:55:13,354 She has always been the ideal woman for Ugo. 606 00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:16,951 Don't be offended but I never understood why. 607 00:55:17,160 --> 00:55:21,438 Because I am a refined woman. Did he "poop" on 5? 608 00:55:23,480 --> 00:55:28,600 -Then I'll play it. - I will pay you for your sacrifice. 609 00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:33,317 - I have some cash... -Go away! - my jewels. 610 00:55:33,520 --> 00:55:36,831 - I could make some bills! - Enough ! 611 00:55:37,040 --> 00:55:42,160 - Give up a fifth of my pension of a widow. - Bet a million on 5. 612 00:55:43,960 --> 00:55:48,079 (in Roman dialect) If you want to play' take out the money. 613 00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:53,275 - Remember that you owe us 4 million. There are seven days left. - Seven? 614 00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:57,519 If you don't pay we'll burn your house down and we'll beat you to death. 615 00:55:57,720 --> 00:56:00,473 Seven days! 616 00:56:00,680 --> 00:56:03,399 Holy shit! 617 00:56:03,600 --> 00:56:07,116 I couldn't lose, he's the favourite! 618 00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:14,237 Listen... 619 00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:19,071 - When does your husband die? - In seven days. - Seven? 620 00:56:22,400 --> 00:56:24,550 How much cash do you have? 621 00:56:26,720 --> 00:56:32,352 - One million. - Come on! -So you accept? - It's a loan. 622 00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:36,599 - Now I win and I give them back to you. - What if he loses? - He doesn't leak, he pooped. 623 00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:40,316 - What if he loses? - If he loses I'll "make myself" the dying man. 624 00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:42,592 All about the 5. 625 00:56:50,440 --> 00:56:54,070 - Is your husband contagious? - No. 626 00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:57,716 Give me all the money. I give them to the creditors. 627 00:56:57,920 --> 00:57:02,073 Sorry, it's not out of mistrust. I gave her a million... 628 00:57:02,280 --> 00:57:06,911 ...now I'll give her the jewels and he will have the rest when things are done. 629 00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:10,679 I brought her this too. 630 00:57:11,480 --> 00:57:16,236 - What is it? - It's a commitment signed some sort of contract. 631 00:57:17,120 --> 00:57:22,991 He doesn't have to know anything. I'll make it a casual encounter. 632 00:57:23,600 --> 00:57:26,991 "I will pay after intercourse"! 633 00:57:39,360 --> 00:57:43,354 FUNERAL MUSIC 634 00:58:08,960 --> 00:58:12,032 Ugo, why don't you take a walk? 635 00:58:14,040 --> 00:58:19,718 - It's a beautiful day! - For me the days are all the same now. 636 00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:26,194 - Maybe you meet someone. - I don't want to meet anyone. 637 00:58:36,360 --> 00:58:40,069 Ugo, can I tell you something? 638 00:58:42,960 --> 00:58:46,874 - You "broke my balls"! - What are you saying! 639 00:58:47,080 --> 00:58:51,313 I've been putting up with you for forty years I'm your servant! 640 00:58:51,520 --> 00:58:55,514 I suffer your moods! I see you urinating in the sink! 641 00:58:55,720 --> 00:58:57,757 Pina' I... 642 00:58:57,960 --> 00:59:00,952 You don't know it but I'm about to... 643 00:59:01,160 --> 00:59:05,119 You're about to talk bullshit like you always did! 644 00:59:06,520 --> 00:59:10,673 -Now get out of this house! - What are you doing ? -Go away! 645 00:59:10,880 --> 00:59:14,271 - Look, I'm... - You're a piece of shit! 646 00:59:14,480 --> 00:59:17,040 -You tell me too! - Out ! 647 00:59:19,240 --> 00:59:22,676 - Get out, you bastard! - Crazy thing? 648 00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:27,511 If I leave this door... rolling shutter' you will never see me again. 649 00:59:27,720 --> 00:59:30,234 That's better ! Out ! 650 00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:37,954 You have changed completely attitude towards me. 651 01:00:01,160 --> 01:00:03,117 Fantozzi. 652 01:00:07,560 --> 01:00:11,155 It's a pleasure to see you again! 653 01:00:14,400 --> 01:00:16,994 VOICE NOT AUDIBLE 654 01:00:26,480 --> 01:00:29,472 < To pay for the love holiday... 655 01:00:29,680 --> 01:00:33,469 <..which would have enlightened < the last days of his life... 656 01:00:33,680 --> 01:00:37,992 < ..Fantozzi sold at auction < the bare ownership of his organs. 657 01:00:38,200 --> 01:00:42,159 < Explantation was guaranteed < after seven days. 658 01:00:42,360 --> 01:00:46,558 - Three million! - Half past three! > Four million! 659 01:00:48,040 --> 01:00:51,749 Four million and one. Four million and two. 660 01:00:51,960 --> 01:00:56,193 Four million and three. Lot number 4 sold... 661 01:00:56,400 --> 01:01:00,075 ...liver and pancreas' to the gentleman over there. 662 01:01:00,280 --> 01:01:03,671 Lot number 5' complete genital system! 663 01:01:03,880 --> 01:01:06,520 - I ! - I want it! 664 01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:13,356 -To me! - It's my turn! -To me! 665 01:01:17,920 --> 01:01:21,470 - It's microscopic! > Is it a doll? 666 01:01:21,680 --> 01:01:24,399 It's a scam! 667 01:01:24,560 --> 01:01:26,949 VOICE NOT AUDIBLE 668 01:01:28,960 --> 01:01:31,110 Withdrawn. 669 01:01:31,320 --> 01:01:33,755 It's because it's cold here! 670 01:01:56,480 --> 01:01:59,074 VOICE NOT AUDIBLE 671 01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:17,833 I'll come get her. 672 01:02:21,320 --> 01:02:23,880 Here I am ! Please. 673 01:02:26,120 --> 01:02:29,715 - Do you like it? - How many stars does it have? - Who? 674 01:02:29,920 --> 01:02:33,993 - Like "who"? -Ah! He has six. - Won't there be too many? 675 01:02:34,200 --> 01:02:39,400 - The hotel has five other ones It's her. - Fantozzi is a poet. 676 01:02:39,600 --> 01:02:42,956 -VENGHl. - luggage? - I'll take care of it. 677 01:02:43,160 --> 01:02:44,639 Lad ! 678 01:02:54,480 --> 01:02:56,471 What a beautiful suite! 679 01:02:56,680 --> 01:03:00,992 - Romina and Albano slept here. (in Roman dialect) my balls! 680 01:03:01,200 --> 01:03:04,192 - I did not understand. - I said, "Wow!" 681 01:03:04,400 --> 01:03:08,155 The sled "knocked me off my feet". I have to lie down on the bed. 682 01:03:08,360 --> 01:03:10,510 I'll carry it. 683 01:03:10,720 --> 01:03:14,953 I would go to bed straight away. Sorry, I'm a little greedy. 684 01:03:15,160 --> 01:03:19,836 - What is he doing? -At the beginning it was said about the holiday... 685 01:03:20,040 --> 01:03:22,953 ...which maybe she and I used to do... No? 686 01:03:23,160 --> 01:03:26,471 Yes maybe. But not like this! We just arrived. 687 01:03:26,680 --> 01:03:30,799 It takes patience... Why are you in such a hurry? 688 01:03:31,000 --> 01:03:36,120 It's something I don't have a lot of time to waste. 689 01:03:36,320 --> 01:03:38,914 Maybe this evening. 690 01:03:39,760 --> 01:03:41,797 These things are done... 691 01:03:43,600 --> 01:03:45,591 ...in the evening. 692 01:04:04,360 --> 01:04:08,149 - Soon ! It's evening! - No, it's just a cloud. 693 01:04:08,360 --> 01:04:11,352 - Can't you see? - A cloud. 694 01:04:11,560 --> 01:04:15,349 - But when... - It's 1.15pm. There's time. 695 01:04:15,520 --> 01:04:19,309 Go to the bar and get some bromide. Bring me an aperitif. 696 01:04:19,520 --> 01:04:23,514 - What do I take? - The bromide! - Excuse me. The bar? - Over there. 697 01:04:25,360 --> 01:04:28,671 - Take him to the hospital! - Poor thing! 698 01:04:28,880 --> 01:04:33,033 -How did he get like this? - My God! Who is ? 699 01:04:33,240 --> 01:04:37,996 - What happened to him? - The trampoline. He's a beginner. 700 01:04:38,200 --> 01:04:43,149 - I think he's going on a skiing holiday in hospital. - Interesting! - HI. 701 01:04:43,360 --> 01:04:47,069 - I brought her an aperitif. - Thank you. 702 01:04:47,280 --> 01:04:51,478 I didn't find the bromide' but I took eight chamomiles. 703 01:04:51,680 --> 01:04:55,036 - I'm very calm. - Well done! 704 01:04:56,320 --> 01:04:58,118 Listen... 705 01:04:58,320 --> 01:05:02,951 Instead of staying here and being bored' go for a nice jump. 706 01:05:03,160 --> 01:05:05,151 - Where ? - There. 707 01:05:07,800 --> 01:05:09,791 It's easy! 708 01:05:10,000 --> 01:05:12,753 And then it looks like an eagle! 709 01:05:12,960 --> 01:05:15,156 An angel! 710 01:05:15,520 --> 01:05:18,194 For a man like that... 711 01:05:19,720 --> 01:05:22,633 ...I wouldn't wait for the evening. - No? 712 01:05:23,080 --> 01:05:26,550 Then I'll take the risk! 713 01:05:27,640 --> 01:05:30,758 No! This is dangerous. 714 01:05:32,720 --> 01:05:35,838 - For the trampoline? - Over there. 715 01:05:50,680 --> 01:05:55,709 Hate ! In the name of the Father and the Son and of the Holy Spirit. 716 01:05:55,880 --> 01:06:00,511 - I would go. - Is it practical? - Who? 717 01:06:00,720 --> 01:06:05,920 - Are you familiar with jumping? - I'm a total beginner. 718 01:06:06,120 --> 01:06:09,317 - You can even die here. - Die ? 719 01:06:12,680 --> 01:06:18,073 - Two days! Well sooner or later... -Then GO! 720 01:06:27,200 --> 01:06:29,316 Excuse me. Do you want to dance? 721 01:06:36,040 --> 01:06:38,270 Ouch! 722 01:06:38,480 --> 01:06:41,313 So miss? 723 01:06:41,520 --> 01:06:46,435 - Am I an angel or an eagle? - He's an asshole! - Well. 724 01:06:48,400 --> 01:06:53,429 < Silvani' unable to stop < Fantozzi's ardor... 725 01:06:53,640 --> 01:06:59,033 < ..resorted to the infamous "Ronfabien" < deadly Spanish sleeping pill. 726 01:06:59,240 --> 01:07:01,436 < It is used by disloyal bullfighters... 727 01:07:01,640 --> 01:07:06,032 < ..to fall asleep < the ferocious battle bulls. 728 01:07:06,240 --> 01:07:10,154 Miss, the elevator is waiting for us. What is it? 729 01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:15,560 - We don't want to celebrate this wonderful moment? - Yes. 730 01:07:17,040 --> 01:07:20,192 -So... -So... -Cheers! 731 01:07:22,800 --> 01:07:26,680 - What did he do? - Everything's perfect. 732 01:07:26,880 --> 01:07:28,871 Then BEVl. 733 01:07:29,040 --> 01:07:33,876 - Miss, do you call me familiar? - No, it's subjunctive. 734 01:07:34,080 --> 01:07:36,833 Oh. Tracanno? 735 01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:39,071 Yes BEVl! 736 01:07:45,360 --> 01:07:49,797 -COME Miss! - Is he okay? - Like a lion! 737 01:07:54,880 --> 01:07:59,317 - Miss, I'm in a state... - Don't you feel tired? 738 01:07:59,520 --> 01:08:04,993 I gave him the whole bottle! Fantozzi' doesn't want to sleep? 739 01:08:05,200 --> 01:08:08,556 Now I'll do them... 740 01:08:08,760 --> 01:08:11,991 - Then... - How smart he is! No! 741 01:08:16,200 --> 01:08:18,840 FANTOZZl HUMMS 742 01:08:19,640 --> 01:08:21,631 > Phantoms! 743 01:08:29,720 --> 01:08:31,711 Good night. 744 01:08:34,520 --> 01:08:37,592 Fantozzi' she offended my femininity. 745 01:08:37,800 --> 01:08:41,156 It looked like he wanted to do it who knows what! 746 01:08:41,360 --> 01:08:46,116 When the time has come He fell into hibernation like a mole. 747 01:08:46,320 --> 01:08:50,951 I don't know what happened to me' it must have been the altitude. 748 01:08:51,160 --> 01:08:56,360 - But this evening I'll open it in two like an apple! - Not vulgar. 749 01:08:56,560 --> 01:08:59,518 Rather woo me. 750 01:08:59,720 --> 01:09:03,236 He seduced me! 751 01:09:03,440 --> 01:09:05,397 Here... 752 01:09:06,000 --> 01:09:11,313 - I COLGHl an edelweiss. - Yes ! I'll make a bunch of it like this... 753 01:09:12,920 --> 01:09:16,117 A deck like that. 754 01:09:16,320 --> 01:09:18,357 She is truly an animal! 755 01:09:18,560 --> 01:09:21,837 I wanted to say here it is full of edelweiss. 756 01:09:22,040 --> 01:09:26,034 I can also take these on my own. I want that one! 757 01:09:27,880 --> 01:09:31,157 - Where ? - The one on the precipice. 758 01:09:31,360 --> 01:09:33,317 On the precipice? 759 01:09:33,520 --> 01:09:35,989 Won't he be afraid? 760 01:09:36,200 --> 01:09:38,191 No. 761 01:09:38,640 --> 01:09:42,156 Do you know what I'm telling you? You only live once. 762 01:09:43,320 --> 01:09:46,517 That is, you only die once. 763 01:10:00,480 --> 01:10:03,233 - Oh oh! - Uh uh! 764 01:10:11,560 --> 01:10:14,393 This little flower... 765 01:10:15,280 --> 01:10:17,954 A little flower. 766 01:10:21,880 --> 01:10:23,678 That's it. 767 01:10:24,800 --> 01:10:26,757 Ahh! 768 01:10:34,760 --> 01:10:37,195 > Down up. After you. 769 01:10:38,840 --> 01:10:43,198 - Up there. After you. - Search here. Bravo. 770 01:10:43,400 --> 01:10:47,189 Miss' I didn't do it on purpose. 771 01:10:47,400 --> 01:10:51,439 - Look what I got. - Up down. After you. 772 01:10:51,640 --> 01:10:55,110 Up down. After you. 773 01:10:55,320 --> 01:10:57,834 Wait. I'll help you. 774 01:11:00,040 --> 01:11:02,077 Up down. After you. 775 01:11:02,280 --> 01:11:04,794 Up down. After you. 776 01:11:05,000 --> 01:11:09,233 - Up down. Next... -Ahh! "Damn yours"! 777 01:11:13,400 --> 01:11:15,391 Take off this nose! 778 01:11:15,600 --> 01:11:19,958 Are you telling me? Mind you, I'm leaving her... Okay, I'm leaving. 779 01:11:21,360 --> 01:11:24,193 > LET me in. 780 01:11:27,440 --> 01:11:29,431 > I'm exhausted. 781 01:11:29,640 --> 01:11:33,838 THE PHONE RINGS 782 01:11:34,040 --> 01:11:38,352 One moment. Stop it! I have my period tonight! Ready. 783 01:11:38,560 --> 01:11:42,918 I think I understand who did not respect the agreements. 784 01:11:43,120 --> 01:11:46,272 With my husband it hasn't "consumed" yet. 785 01:11:46,480 --> 01:11:50,599 I'm worn out! Does this seem simple to you? 786 01:11:50,800 --> 01:11:53,997 The situation is like this "Beauty and the Beast". 787 01:11:54,200 --> 01:11:59,274 Miss, I'm speaking to you as a woman to a woman. I've been with him all my life. 788 01:11:59,480 --> 01:12:02,552 I assure you that he won't even notice! 789 01:12:02,760 --> 01:12:06,151 It will do very quickly. It's so small! 790 01:12:06,360 --> 01:12:09,478 For her it's nothing it's important to him. 791 01:12:09,680 --> 01:12:13,878 Mrs. Pina' from woman to woman. I tried it but I can't! 792 01:12:14,080 --> 01:12:16,799 Is it clear? 793 01:12:17,000 --> 01:12:22,074 She is insensitive and vulgar! I'll tell you something. 794 01:12:22,280 --> 01:12:26,319 He has a signed commitment with me. If he doesn't respect it... 795 01:12:26,520 --> 01:12:29,319 ...I leave it at the mercy of the creditors. 796 01:12:29,520 --> 01:12:32,558 I'm closing because I've run out of tokens. 797 01:12:32,760 --> 01:12:34,751 Good evening ! 798 01:12:37,480 --> 01:12:42,554 -Come "let's remove this tooth". Damn me! - Which tooth? 799 01:12:42,760 --> 01:12:47,755 - You don't have your period? - Phantoms! But what a cycle! 800 01:12:47,960 --> 01:12:51,396 I have been in menopause for twenty years. Let's go ! 801 01:12:56,320 --> 01:13:01,838 I feel a little insecure. I'm going to ask for something strong. 802 01:13:06,960 --> 01:13:09,156 FANTOZZl MUMBLERS 803 01:13:10,000 --> 01:13:14,392 I would have a little problem. It's actually a big problem. 804 01:13:14,600 --> 01:13:17,513 That is, I... Nothing. 805 01:13:17,720 --> 01:13:21,839 I haven't done this in twelve years and I'm out of practice. 806 01:13:22,040 --> 01:13:26,637 - He has something strong to drink that you lift... - I'll take care of it. 807 01:13:26,840 --> 01:13:32,358 Two tablespoons of cantharides one of Alba truffle powder... 808 01:13:32,960 --> 01:13:37,557 ...black pepper' white pepper' chili pepper. - Chili ! 809 01:13:37,760 --> 01:13:41,549 - Piri-piri' black powder. - Black powder! 810 01:13:41,760 --> 01:13:45,674 - TNT. - But... TNT? 811 01:13:45,880 --> 01:13:50,716 - Nitroglycerin. - Nitro... Meh! -A little more cantharides. 812 01:13:50,920 --> 01:13:56,518 - A pineapple. - The fruit? - No a hand grenade and a short fuse. 813 01:14:00,640 --> 01:14:03,632 > Dll it for me. - Drink immediately. 814 01:14:03,800 --> 01:14:07,191 - Tracanno? - Right away. - As ? -Fast ! 815 01:14:11,480 --> 01:14:13,835 It has no effect. 816 01:14:17,960 --> 01:14:20,952 EXPLOSION 817 01:14:25,920 --> 01:14:27,672 BOAT 818 01:14:32,000 --> 01:14:34,389 the LUPl HOWL 819 01:14:45,360 --> 01:14:48,751 > Fantozzi' VENGHl! 820 01:14:57,480 --> 01:15:00,757 What did I miss for thirty years! 821 01:15:00,960 --> 01:15:03,952 I didn't imagine it would be like this! 822 01:15:04,160 --> 01:15:07,471 What have I lost! 823 01:15:10,160 --> 01:15:13,551 (Pina' I finally found it a real woman.) 824 01:15:13,760 --> 01:15:18,311 (Not someone like you with hair mouse-colored and with sewer breath.) 825 01:15:18,520 --> 01:15:23,833 (I wasted my life next to you. You're the shit, not me!) 826 01:15:24,800 --> 01:15:27,394 (Ugo is no longer yours.) 827 01:15:32,800 --> 01:15:36,316 It's an urgent letter. It must be sent immediately. 828 01:15:41,240 --> 01:15:43,516 What is it? But... 829 01:15:44,320 --> 01:15:46,311 One moment. 830 01:15:55,240 --> 01:15:58,392 That's all we have. 831 01:15:59,360 --> 01:16:04,116 (Silvani sings) "Tear me apart" but satisfy me with kisses..." 832 01:16:04,320 --> 01:16:07,472 You saw that it would be... 833 01:16:19,600 --> 01:16:24,276 "Pina and Ugo forever." 834 01:16:25,000 --> 01:16:26,991 What does it mean ? 835 01:16:34,920 --> 01:16:39,915 "I am committed to cheering the last days of the dying Ugo." 836 01:16:40,600 --> 01:16:43,718 "I will pay after intercourse..." 837 01:16:43,920 --> 01:16:47,914 "..Part jewelry and part with my widow's pension." 838 01:16:48,120 --> 01:16:50,919 "In faith. Pina Fantozzi." 839 01:16:51,120 --> 01:16:53,077 But... 840 01:16:55,880 --> 01:16:58,076 Pina! 841 01:17:06,560 --> 01:17:09,154 VOICE NOT AUDIBLE 842 01:17:10,880 --> 01:17:12,837 But... 843 01:17:14,360 --> 01:17:16,954 The letter! 844 01:17:20,640 --> 01:17:23,951 Stallion, here's your mare! 845 01:17:24,160 --> 01:17:26,549 HORSE NITRITE 846 01:17:28,160 --> 01:17:30,231 Stallion? 847 01:17:33,480 --> 01:17:36,472 My letter! Give me the letter! 848 01:17:36,680 --> 01:17:39,911 - The letter! - Don't go back to the "redfish"! 849 01:17:40,120 --> 01:17:43,829 I don't do it for the money! Now it's love! 850 01:17:44,000 --> 01:17:48,198 - Don't touch me, you infamous one! - Leave your wife! 851 01:17:48,400 --> 01:17:51,791 - Where is Fantozzi going? - Leave me! 852 01:17:52,000 --> 01:17:54,355 You hit me, you insult me... 853 01:17:54,560 --> 01:17:56,915 ...but I'll tell you again! 854 01:17:57,120 --> 01:17:59,236 Give it back to me! 855 01:17:59,440 --> 01:18:02,831 I won't give it to him! It's private property! 856 01:18:05,120 --> 01:18:07,680 - Hey ! - Please ! 857 01:18:10,000 --> 01:18:11,991 The letter! 858 01:18:14,160 --> 01:18:15,594 Aha! 859 01:18:16,760 --> 01:18:19,036 No! One moment! 860 01:18:19,240 --> 01:18:22,153 Just kidding, beautiful horses! 861 01:18:35,880 --> 01:18:37,200 Taken ! 862 01:18:48,320 --> 01:18:49,993 Another ! 863 01:18:55,320 --> 01:18:58,312 Right or left? Hey! Right. 864 01:19:03,640 --> 01:19:05,597 Taken ! 865 01:19:15,640 --> 01:19:20,111 - What happened? - There was a slab of ice and I rolled over. 866 01:19:20,320 --> 01:19:24,678 > Call a tow truck. > Yes. I load the barrels. 867 01:19:26,240 --> 01:19:28,151 > Here it is! 868 01:19:34,400 --> 01:19:36,357 I'm sorry. 869 01:19:36,560 --> 01:19:39,518 I "get stuffed". Here you are. 870 01:20:10,560 --> 01:20:14,269 I drank all the beer! 871 01:20:18,240 --> 01:20:21,278 > I can't speak. 872 01:20:24,800 --> 01:20:27,792 UNCOMPREHENSIBLE WORDS 873 01:20:29,760 --> 01:20:31,273 Watch out! 874 01:20:31,400 --> 01:20:34,392 BURP 875 01:20:40,640 --> 01:20:44,793 One moment! Wait for the train conductor! 876 01:20:45,440 --> 01:20:48,512 There's the letter! Have mercy! 877 01:20:49,320 --> 01:20:51,709 Wait a moment! 878 01:20:53,480 --> 01:20:55,596 It's the train to... 879 01:21:08,960 --> 01:21:12,476 "Dear Pina' I finally found it a real woman." 880 01:21:12,680 --> 01:21:16,355 "Not someone like you with mouse-colored hair..." 881 01:21:16,560 --> 01:21:20,554 "..And sewer breath. I wasted my life next to you." 882 01:21:20,760 --> 01:21:23,912 "You're the shit, not me!" 883 01:21:24,120 --> 01:21:26,430 "Not yours anymore Ugo." 884 01:21:27,240 --> 01:21:29,675 I'm very happy' Ugo! 885 01:21:41,480 --> 01:21:43,437 Pina! 886 01:21:43,880 --> 01:21:48,078 - Did you receive my letter? - Yes Ugo. - Have you read it? 887 01:21:48,280 --> 01:21:51,272 - No, I just opened it. - Give it to me! 888 01:21:52,440 --> 01:21:56,115 I'll read it to you. Sit here. 889 01:21:56,320 --> 01:21:59,438 In this letter... 890 01:21:59,640 --> 01:22:01,677 ...I write... 891 01:22:01,880 --> 01:22:05,157 My dear Pina... 892 01:22:05,360 --> 01:22:10,355 ...I discovered who the woman is most important thing in my life. 893 01:22:10,880 --> 01:22:14,316 The one I love the most. 894 01:22:15,760 --> 01:22:20,550 It's you with your silver hair... 895 01:22:21,200 --> 01:22:23,953 ...and the breath that smells of rose. 896 01:22:24,160 --> 01:22:26,515 If I could choose... 897 01:22:26,720 --> 01:22:31,590 ...I would like to go with you everything else in my life. 898 01:22:33,760 --> 01:22:35,751 It's the last day! 899 01:22:37,200 --> 01:22:41,319 < It was almost time for the final whistle < by the Supreme Arbiter. 900 01:22:41,520 --> 01:22:46,879 < Fantozzi thought he still could < conquer salvation. 901 01:22:47,080 --> 01:22:50,869 - Come on brother! "Sprint"! - I sprint. 902 01:22:51,080 --> 01:22:54,960 < Fantozzi got 2,500 masses < in his suffrage. 903 01:22:55,160 --> 01:22:59,518 < He wore a sackcloth that wrapped him < from the armpit to the scrotum... 904 01:22:59,720 --> 01:23:04,351 < ..and signed up for the most competitive ones < pilgrimages of penance. 905 01:23:09,560 --> 01:23:11,278 Ugo! 906 01:23:11,480 --> 01:23:13,437 Ugo! 907 01:23:14,680 --> 01:23:18,435 Permit. Ugo! 908 01:23:18,640 --> 01:23:21,075 Ugo, get up! 909 01:23:21,280 --> 01:23:24,477 You're not sick! 910 01:23:24,680 --> 01:23:29,117 They called from the hospital. You look great! 911 01:23:29,320 --> 01:23:32,233 They exchanged x-rays. 912 01:23:32,440 --> 01:23:35,478 - It's not you who has to die! - But... 913 01:23:35,680 --> 01:23:40,470 - Who has to die? - The priest who was hospitalized with you. 914 01:23:40,680 --> 01:23:44,719 Did you understand ? You don't have to die anymore! Ugo you don't have to anymore... 915 01:23:44,920 --> 01:23:50,518 Damn the "high" "unbolted"' "unhinged"! 916 01:23:54,760 --> 01:23:58,071 I'm not dying anymore! 917 01:24:00,120 --> 01:24:02,475 I'm not dying anymore! 918 01:24:02,680 --> 01:24:05,638 I'm not dying anymore! 919 01:24:46,360 --> 01:24:51,355 < At Fantozzi's funeral < there were the surviving colleagues. 920 01:24:51,560 --> 01:24:54,951 < They clung to the widow < to console her. 921 01:24:58,440 --> 01:25:02,229 They are always the worst they're leaving! 922 01:25:06,080 --> 01:25:10,074 We have missed our point reference point downwards. 923 01:25:15,000 --> 01:25:17,958 It was easy to feel like you were better than him. 924 01:25:21,560 --> 01:25:25,076 He was a scapegoat for all of us. 925 01:25:28,320 --> 01:25:33,190 I feel like I still have him in front of me to the eyes' in the vigor of the years! 926 01:25:34,440 --> 01:25:36,431 What a loss! 927 01:25:36,640 --> 01:25:39,029 < On his last journey... 928 01:25:39,240 --> 01:25:43,598 < ..it couldn't be missed < the affectionate weekend companion. 929 01:25:43,800 --> 01:25:47,634 < His very personal cloud < as an employee. 930 01:26:08,440 --> 01:26:12,434 My cloud has come too! The employee cloud. 931 01:26:41,440 --> 01:26:45,718 (speaker) The blessed souls hurry to board. 932 01:26:58,240 --> 01:27:00,151 Excuse me. 933 01:27:02,000 --> 01:27:06,198 - Miss, when are we taking off? - We've already left. -Ah. 934 01:27:08,640 --> 01:27:10,631 Everything is fine ? 935 01:27:18,800 --> 01:27:21,030 Excuse me a moment. 936 01:27:21,240 --> 01:27:24,676 Hijack right now I'm going to Heaven? 937 01:27:24,880 --> 01:27:30,558 -Shut up or I'll break your face! - We are spirits' it can't hurt me. 938 01:27:31,680 --> 01:27:34,718 Oh my God, that hurt! 939 01:27:34,920 --> 01:27:38,038 It hurt me a lot. 940 01:27:40,440 --> 01:27:43,319 Do you know where they are taking us? 941 01:27:47,280 --> 01:27:49,840 Where is Mr. San Pietro? 942 01:27:52,160 --> 01:27:56,518 > Passed away! - Yes ? > Take off your shoes. 943 01:28:00,360 --> 01:28:02,636 I took them off. 944 01:28:30,600 --> 01:28:35,151 - Buddha! - Phantoms! - Listen doctor... 945 01:28:35,360 --> 01:28:40,719 Mr. Buddha' why I was hijacked here by you? 946 01:28:40,920 --> 01:28:44,914 Your missionaries they hijack millions of our souls... 947 01:28:45,120 --> 01:28:47,111 ...during earthly life. 948 01:28:47,320 --> 01:28:50,597 We even the score after the passing. 949 01:28:50,800 --> 01:28:53,758 Sorry, Dr. Buddha. 950 01:28:53,960 --> 01:28:59,717 I have laboriously conquered the Paradise from the other administration. 951 01:29:00,880 --> 01:29:04,669 Couldn't I take advantage of yours? 952 01:29:05,280 --> 01:29:07,840 Paradise doesn't exist here. 953 01:29:08,040 --> 01:29:12,830 Here you have to reincarnate in others lives until absolute purification. 954 01:29:13,040 --> 01:29:17,432 I've already had a lifetime quite repulsive. 955 01:29:17,640 --> 01:29:19,631 Couldn't it be avoided? 956 01:29:19,840 --> 01:29:23,913 Don't worry. It has many possibilities for new lives. 957 01:29:24,120 --> 01:29:26,999 Since you can choose... 958 01:29:27,200 --> 01:29:31,990 I would like to be reborn tall' thin' green-eyed and billionaire. 959 01:29:32,320 --> 01:29:37,030 Married to Claudia Schiffer' good classical guitar player. 960 01:29:37,240 --> 01:29:41,950 I'd like to ski' skate' being a mega president... 961 01:29:42,160 --> 01:29:46,472 ...and above all have a delicious "f...". 962 01:29:46,680 --> 01:29:50,275 You are not allowed to choose who turns the wheel. 963 01:29:50,480 --> 01:29:53,279 Is it the Wheel of Fortune? 964 01:29:53,480 --> 01:29:57,519 Excuse the spells typically Catholic. 965 01:29:57,720 --> 01:30:00,280 I have to spin the wheel, right? 966 01:30:00,480 --> 01:30:02,869 Now I do it. 967 01:30:03,080 --> 01:30:04,957 I go ! 968 01:30:08,080 --> 01:30:11,755 - Come on ma'am! SPINGHl! - That's it! 969 01:30:11,960 --> 01:30:15,954 - Good ! -One more effort. - SPINGH the lady! 970 01:30:16,160 --> 01:30:18,595 Good ! 971 01:30:20,840 --> 01:30:23,832 FANTOZZl Sl COMPLAINS 972 01:30:28,440 --> 01:30:31,831 > But start all over again? 973 01:30:32,040 --> 01:30:34,509 How lucky am I!